There are some days that i just feel like my mind is slap full and I don't have time to think. I know I really haven't let any of you into our home for a while. It seems that we have been busy. School is taking up a good portion of our day, and then there is housework, and then just the everyday stuff: church, volleyball, co-op, etc.
But I paused from working on other stuff today to read a friends blog. It is the blog of Dan & Casey Chappel. They lost their son Asher, after being preganant for 34 weeks. I do not personally know them. You see Casey's parents were our neighbors at SWBTS. She and I started chatting on facebook and became friends. Even though I have never met her, I just love her. She has the sweetest spirit and she is openly sharing her grief and sorrow with the world. This caused me to start thinking today about being more authentic with each other.
I think sometimes we fear being open and honest with each other for fear of the judging that will follow. But I believe that in being that honest with one another we can start to truly see each other's hearts. And then we have genuinely connected with one another.
That makes me think of a time when my cousin and I spent the whole summer riding in his car, listening to Broadway, and talking. It was during these times that I would start to share my hopes, dreams, fears, and perspective on spiritual truths. I look back on those days and I know that I was heard and understood. I can't even really remember most of what we talked about, I know a few things, but not the majority. Even if my cousin didn't agree with me, he had listened. and I had listened to him.
This lead me to think more about why my head feels so full sometimes. It is overwhelmed with stuff! But I enjoy listening to my own thoughts, my own heart, and the Lord's direction. And I realized today that in my lack of organizing I was allowing stuff to block my heart. And if my heart isn't open, how can I be authentic to anyone?
So I can't stay and chat today, I have to go organize my calendar.